Coming into your power and knowing your self-worth.

I was introduced to Sula last year by one of our wonderful mutual friends. Straight away I admired Sula’s infectious energy and her passion for speaking her truth. She’s just one of those people that lives her life authentically, completely unapologetically and I was curious to understand how she came to be like this.

Sula grew up in Hackney and comes from a mixed-race heritage. Her dad, who she sadly lost when she was 18 was Jamaican and her mum who she lost last year was British. Growing up in Hackney she wanted to get into education to help young, black males and felt that there wasn’t enough representation of black teachers in education. After research and various life experiences Sula came to understand that young black males come into primary school as one of the highest achieving set of students and leave secondary school as one of the lowest achieving. Something happens within education between those two vital stages and this became Sula’s driving force behind becoming a teacher.

Sula’s teaching passion grew to wanting to help all disadvantaged children and she worked her way up to Assistant Head Teacher. Her skillset widened and she became a teaching consultant, teaching leadership and management within education. In 2017 Sula was headhunted with an opportunity that would see her move to South Korea for 2 years. Feeling tired of the issues and politics within the UK education system, it was an opportunity she seized with both hands. Sula moved to South Korea to be an Assistant Head Teacher for an English private school in charge of pastoral care (children’s wellbeing and behaviour). We were lucky enough to learn about some of the experiences that shaped her into the incredible woman she is today…

What made you want to leave the UK in 2017?

I had gone through some personal challenges including the death of an ex-partner, and that paired with the tough politics around the UK education system at that time became extremely stressful for me. I felt I was at a personal crossroads and was struggling to align with my purpose in life. I wasn’t happy personally or professionally. Then I got an offer for an Assistant Head Teacher at a private school in South Korea on an Island called Jeju (nicknamed, ‘the Hawaii of South Korea’). It was a fantastic opportunity that came with an amazing apartment, a car and a very attractive package. In hindsight, perhaps I should have spent more time researching but I decided it was a good move and went for it.

What was it like living and working in South Korea?

It was quite a shock to the system when I got there! There were of course positives; being immersed into a new culture was scary but incredible and my quality of life was very luxurious. Getting to travel the many countries of Asia was incredible. The working culture was the biggest shock of all, the average night’s sleep is 4 hours (and anything longer is deemed lazy) and the pressure the children are under was unlike anything I’d ever seen. In the UK one of the biggest challenges I faced was children being engaged and enthusiastic about their education and future, this was primarily due to them growing up in inner city London. Yet in South Korea it was a whole different story. The children in South Korea wanted to learn and had aspirations to go onto top universities like Yale, Oxford and Cambridge.

One of the main things I battled with was the ‘Tiger Mums’, I was shocked at just how far the parents wanted to push their children and regardless of anything, were only interested in results. I battled with trying to get the parents to see the impact this has on their child's mental health. The children would do a full workday and then do extra-curricular learning until 11pm-12am. They also worked 6 days a week. I became acutely aware of the of the term coined ‘posh neglect’ – Korea has the highest level of teenage suicide on a par with Japan, the immense pressure these young people are under is a huge contributing factor.

Were there any other surprises?

I quickly realised that the working culture wasn’t just reserved for the children, I was put under an immense amount of pressure too – often working 2 weeks in a row without any time off. Wellbeing doesn’t really seem to be considered over there and the whole experience could be isolating at times.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for at all was the racism I would face within my role. Being a woman of colour in my senior position was a very alien thing to them. There were only a few black people on the whole island, and most Koreans there hadn’t really seen or interacted with anyone black before. It certainly led to some negative behaviours; parents wouldn’t shake my hand, or acknowledge me in meetings, I was asked once if I was the cleaner! The nearest big city (Seoul), was slightly more diverse but the island I was living on was extremely racist. In Korea they believe that the lighter the skin the more elite you are. Many of the children with darker skin were bullied. I also faced racism from my white counterparts and colleagues which weighed particularly heavy on my heart as that really made me feel painfully isolated.

Did you feel like you could speak up to address any of these issues while you were there?

I didn’t feel I could. I felt suffocated and even paralysed by that level of racism, I also didn’t really have anyone I could turn to there. When I did bring it up, I was called dramatic. It went so far as people pointing and touching my hair and skin – I felt like an animal in the zoo. Despite this I knew it was important to educate, I launched black history month for the first time there. I have always championed culture and diversity and I know that children have an innocence and open mindedness that hardened adults do not.

My Mum was an activist and an educator who spent her whole life teaching a culturally inclusive curriculum and dedicated her time to fighting for women's rights and anti-racism. My Dad was a social worker and also an activist, so I have had great role models in both of them. I’ve always spoken up about racism and the challenges around diversity and inclusion but since my time in South Korea I’ve decided to do everything in my power to be a part of the change that needs to happen. BLM has only fuelled the fire in my belly more.

What did you do next?

As a result of the challenges I faced I was planning to leave after a year but in the end decided to stick it out. I was planning to make the move to Dubai but also felt I was getting some resistance there (perhaps because it’s also uncommon for them to have women of colour in positions of power).

I observed the signs and gave thanks for the growth I’d gone through and after a two-year stint, decided to travel and rediscover myself and what I wanted to do next in my life.

I returned to the UK with a newfound peace and zest for life. I decided to leave education and take my career in a new direction and ended up landing my dream job as a consultant in the corporate world. I also wanted to return to the UK to spend time with my Mum. I’m so glad I did as almost as soon as I got home, we had the crushing news that mum's breast cancer had returned, and we lost her 2 months later.  After losing my dad to cancer as a young adult and then my mum, I'm not sure how it could get much worse. I was, and still am devastated. I’m still in recovery mode.

How have personal relationships played into your situation?

There is one thing that has become so true in my time of loss ‘friends are the family you choose’. If it wasn’t for my friends, my sister Grace and my immediate family, I wouldn’t be here. I feel proud of my friends, I believe in the law of attraction, and my friends are a reflection of me and what I’m attracting. I can hand on heart say that I no longer have any negative relationships. My friends, my sister and siblings have got me through my toughest times.

My faith and the relationship I have with myself is also so important. I feel there is power that comes with spiritual growth and an age shift; coming into your power and knowing your self-worth. Self-worth and positive affirmations are something I try and practise every day.

I also feel that everything I’ve gone through since my Dad died at 18, has given me the tools to deal with life’s trauma’s more effectively. When my Mum died, I was mentally in the best position of my life to deal with the worst thing in my life, however crazy that sounds. Life can be so unfair, but it can also be so short and fleeting. My Mum was given 2 months to live from diagnosis, so it really teaches you to make choices in your life that are good for you, your happiness and your soul.

What inspires you to keep at your goals?

Happiness and wanting a better life for me and my family. I feel really lucky and privileged, I like nice things and like to travel so that inspires me too.

What does success mean to you?

For me, success before losing my mum was a nice house, nice car, travelling a couple of times a year & having a boujee life. I still like those luxuries but now, success has taken on a deeper meaning – for me it’s, being peaceful, being content and being happy.

Success is also giving back –my last job felt a little soul destroying but I’m now working with an organisation called Holler UK, their main purpose is to inspire the younger generation which we do through delivering workshops and events covering topics like black history, healthy relationships, success and building resilience. It’s taught me that I can be successful and give back at the same time.

What do you wish you could tell your younger self?

OMG I’d have such a long chat with her! I’d want to tell her it’s going to be okay. I’d also tell her to not care what people think and trust your gut. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

If you could leave just one legacy or lesson behind, what would it be?

I’d love to know that I impacted people’s lives for the better, that people thought I was a kind and caring person that had a positive impact on the world. After you go through loss or death it makes you evaluate what’s important.